Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
