There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize