Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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