I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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