i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
