i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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