dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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