New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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