There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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