Got a toothbrush?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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