i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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