My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize