We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
