Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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