I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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