You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
