Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
