Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize