windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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