R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
