You're my little dorito
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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