Quick, to the slutcave!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
