yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
