This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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