if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
