So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
