I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
