he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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