The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
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He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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