Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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