I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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