everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
