I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
