Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
