He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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