I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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