I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
