I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
