if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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