So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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