You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
