I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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