My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My pussy is not your playground.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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