So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Michael Bay diarrhea
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
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