On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize