So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
