I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
