is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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