sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
