What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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