There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
