$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
