Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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