Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
