She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
