Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
