dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
