I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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