Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
