dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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