the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
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I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
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The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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