I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize