Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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