Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
