i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
