I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
