Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
